Friday, September 12, 2014

Finding my way to Kolkata.

I'm with all of my gear. I strap It on tighter as I'm about to run around Agra trying to figure out what my plan is. I see a ticketing office. I run in to ask for some advice. They state that the train was cancelled. I can book a ticket for tomorrow, but if I do that, I'm worried it won't be an express train and will take multiple days, meaning I'll miss my next train from Kolkata to Chennai. I ask if I have any other options, and he points me to the ticketing windows. I'm running up, with my gear flopping side to side, my water bottles I have are difficult to manage while reaching for my documents. I'm talking to a man and he sees my ticket and immediately gets frustrated with me and states, 'sir this is an online tiket this is not my responsibility you will be refunded for the train.' Me, not being happy, respond with, 'I understand that. I'm not asking you for that. My concern is getting to Kolkata. I will miss my flight. I NEED to get on a train.' He states there is another train leaving from Tundla at 8:30pm. It is around 11am now. He states that the only tickets available are 3AC. I'm okay with it even though it's 1850 rupees (Approximately $31.00). No refunds. I say that's fine I just need to get there. He states that the buses run to Tundla around every hour from Agra and takes about an hour to get there. I purchase a ticket, I get a ride back to my hotel for 50 rupees, and ask the hotel manager if I may wait in the restaurant and charge my phone due to my train being cancelled. He was very kind and allowed me to stay. I was so grateful.. I'm texting Shayna on their wifi as she helps me through this calming me down. I am so irritated with this whole transit system in India. All I want to do is see the things I want to see and leave. No more bull shit. I like diving in and all but if you have a tight itinerary.. You better expect it to not work that way. I'm so overwhelmed, I'm lonely, I'm just fed up and emotionally drained. I know my mood will change when I am in Thailand with Melanie, and then again after that with my organization. I just have to get there, even though I truly just want to be home with the people that make me happy.

I'm so worked up, Shayna stays up late to talk. I have an amazing support system. I miss you Shayna!

I've been sitting here for a couple hours routing out my plan of attack on how to get to the Tundla Train station. The bus station is not far, and I will take a bus to Tundla. I reach the bus station by tuk tuk. I'm so confused as the tuk tuk driver and the men running the buses all yell and point 'Tundla!' But which bus?! I'm so confused in this spider web of buses. I decide to tell the tuk tuk to bring me directly to the station instead. This way it's direct. It's straight through. I don't care about cheapness right now. I care about getting to Kolkata, and more importantly to Chennai, so I can get myself out of this chaotic, beautiful, miserable place. It cost 350 rupees. It was about an hour ride by tuktuk.

I found myself getting wet by the rain drizzling from the sky into the sides of the tuktuk. I have my bags exposed, so I wrestle with them in the back scrambling to get the water resistant covers on. I got the first on. Now the second. The rain is coming down hard. My legs are beginning to get sprayed. The large backpack is giving me trouble, as the wind and rain blow my bag cover in my face. I'm blinded by the cover, stopping me from knowing which way to lean in the tuk tuk so I don't fly out the side as we zig and zag through traffic. Success. I finally get it on!

I strap my bags back on to my body in the small space behind the driver. We make it to Tundla. Were splashing through motes of mud and water. This road is packed with people and other vehicles. I'm holding it all close to my body in case there are any hungry hands.

I make it to the Tundla Station. It's 4:00pm and I'm hours early. It's okay. I can gather myself. I walk around I look for my new train number 12304. I see nothing. I walk around and take a seat thinking maybe I'm too early for it to show. I wait around on the platforms for a while... An hour goes by.

Another half hour..

Men come up to me every 20 minutes and stand there.. Looking at me. I glare back. I am sure to look directly into their eyes. I don't blink. I eye them up and down as they do to me. I nod. They move forward.

This happens a few times as the sun begins to go down. I'm sitting here in silence.. The past two hours have been my sleepy, baggy, hawk eyes on every individual that dares to glance at me. A small boy runs up to me. He sees my water. He motions to give him water. I can't. This is my only water for the next two days. I don't know when I'll have more and I've been drinking at least 2L a day. I have 1.5L for the next two. As hard as it is, I say no. He continues. I 'shoo' him away... He stays. I say 'no'. He stays. He begins to poke me and grab my arm. I look at him and I raise my finger. I pull away and look at him in the eye. I say slowly, 'Do. Not. Touch. Me.' It is very difficult to be stern with a child when they are begging for water. I don't know what anyone is capable of. I see often that kids are told by elders to come beg for them. It's a tactic. What isn't in life, right?
The only thing that works, is to turn away. I eventually get up and go look again at the updates for trains. I'm given nothing from the LED signs.

I head to the enquiry table. Lines here are so aggressive. You don't wait as you get closer to the window, you shrug your way to the front. I find my way and yell in '12304?!' The man replies, 'on time! Platform 3!' Thank you!!!

I have about two hours left, and I spot a 'first class waiting room' area. Hmm?

I walk in, take a seat and I'm in a room with one other foreigner on his camera, and an Indian family. NICE! There are outlets! I'm charging up.


Another two foreigners walk in and charge up. We are all required to sign in for some reason. I thought I wasn't suppose to be there because I am not first class. It's fine though.

I've been given the time to talk with a few of you again. Kat and I are laughing. I'm beginning to become more down to earth about it all. If something were to happen, I won't be stuck here. I'll just have to wait longer, or get a plane ticket. Something. Some men in Red that work at the train station help us all out boarding the train. I'm relieved and confused. My train updates online state it is running hours late. They say, 'on time'. Hm. 

As I wait, multiple rats form around my legs weaving in and out. These rats are big. I saw the two guys across from me worried about the rats. Our first exchange of words as I lean on my bags above on the seats next to me, 'might wanna watch your bags, there are rats all over.' They laugh, and picked up their bags onto their seats. This whole place feels like an abandoned city, and taken over by anything that has a bowel system.

This waiting room is nicer though, even though there are rats. There are just a lot less then outside.

The red shirts come back in and make me collect my belongings fast, and set me up where my carriage will be. I'm excited to find that tees guys are actually helping me. I'm grateful. I wait... And wait... And wait.. Three trains pass by that are not mine. 

Finally my train shows. I'm relieved. The other two foreigners run by me. I say '12304?!' They yell, 'yeah!' I ask what stop and it's not the same. I yell back, 'I'm going to Howrah Station, Kolkata! Good luck guys!'

I'm glad we at least exchanged smiles.

I hop on the train with the worker. He finds my bed. There is someone in it. Great. Double booked.

He and his family take out their tickets. They have the same number as me. The worker looks at me as says 'come on!' as he runs off the train. I think to myself as I start to run behind him squeezing through the small doorways of the train, brushing against every person, 'is this another scam? Did he get me to trust him? What's happening? This train stops for only a couple minutes and leaves! That other man had a ticket though, the same number! I saw with my own eyes.' Before I have time to think, I'm of the train at a guy in a suit with a packet of spaces. We show him my ticket, he circles a new carriage and bed. I'm now in two tier AC rather than 3 tier. Yes!!! Upgrade! Now the red shirt runs me to the correct carriage just before the train starts to move. He looks at me and says, 'tip?'...... Of course...

I gave him 10 rupees. He did do good by me. Thanks brother!


I now lay on my train bed in the upper berth, fumbling my items and making my nest. I'm finally able to rest. Now to make sure I can pee knowing my items are safe. I strap my bags to the side pole, but it's not a lock. :/ I feel safe in here though, quite. Secluded.

I close my curtains, make my small bed, lean back, and wait for my ticket to be checked. The ticket checker comes by and marks me off. I close my curtain and make an attempt to sleep. All I hear are mumbles of Hindi coming through the curtains, men trying to sell items, food and tea. I deny/ignore every time. It's heard that people drug drinks and good to make you knocked out so they can take all your things. I'd rather be naturally asleep and naturally wake up when I feel someone reach around me to get my bag. I first out my water bottle in my cup holder on the side if the aisle, but move it inside my space in case someone were to mess around with it. I'm off to sleep with my headphones in. Throughout my sleep it's freaky to hear nothing but repeated Hindi words in a soft, and very close voice, 'chai... Chai...' Especially when you wake up to it every few hours.

I continuously wake up at 3am every morning these past few nights. This time I wake up at 3, but I am confused because the light behind my curtain is bright. It feels like day light. Did I really sleep through the night until 3pm!? Over 15 hours of sleep? I look out and notice it's just the light of the aisle. I turn over, and Zonk out again.

I keep doing this until around 9am. Hardly sleeping well, but I'm able to get something in. I'm glad.

I wake up to pee. I leave my bags, I tuck them in ways that I know it would look different if it were moved. I walk to the bathroom and, wow. Gross. I stand over a disgusting metal hole the size of a soup bowl. Aiming is crucial on this moving train. There are spots to put your feet but I'm not putting mine there. I also assume you squat to poop?... Lee told me to always have toilet paper because the train bathrooms are disgusting, and to go before you get on. That's a confirmed fact!

I step out and take a look out the window. Woah. Amazing views. The other side, a guy is opening the door to get a better view and stand there. This side is all mine. I give it a try. 


I'm standing in the breeze of a fast moving train, through India, and takin picture as we zoom by. There is a body if water coming up. Looks nice. I'm taking pictures and all the sudden a huge jolt and sound hit my face as I lean forward a bit to see. I quickly lean back into the carriage as I see were on a bridge and it's a far way down. 

I take a breath, and laugh. 

I head back to my bed and lay there. I look over some important details of my next journey in Kolkata. How to get from point A to point B. How to find a prepaid taxi. Details. I feel overwhelmed already. I know what I have to do. I've done it before. I have to get off and just go to the prepaid taxi counter. I'm psyching myself out.

I decide to look at my journal Kat gave me again. I review the pieces I've already seen and read. The picture of us. Her note to me. The tickets from The Works. 
And the first pages I opened when I was in California, 'when you are on the plane that starts your journey'....
I also reviewed my 'when you miss home' spot because it's full of writings from people at the Apple Store. It's a great thing to have, to remember the face that support you and you call friends and peers. Some of these people are incredibly modest and insightful. I have to say that I miss all of you a lot. My man Alfred, Leanda, Rose!, of course Dusty, or some of the managers, my boys Phil and Matt, I hate name dropping but I can't help it! Even knowing that some of the Steves are following my trip, or being able to owe Anthony a punch from the circle hand... Andi with hopefully reaching S Korea.. Everyone has a place in my heart. I remember specific moments with each of you that have given me insight on how to view the workd when I make contact with something new.
These memories make me miss KU people... The only physical picture I have with me besides the one Kat taped up in my gift, is my Johnson Staff picture. They also gave me a journal that I use to write in. I take it out to look at the people that represent so much. These people mean so much to me, and I hope they are all doing well. This picture means a lot to me because it helps me know that I had some great experiences inte past 6 years at KU.

Now the entry from Kat's gift. The plane ride that starts my journey... This thing is spot on. I feel like I may be reading this one multiple times throughout my time. I will do so with others too but this is a reminder for me while I'm on my journey, not something that makes me think of something I dont have. The ones tha stick out to me the most...

1- Confidence. For when things get tough, when you're overwhelmed, when you think of giving up.

I've been here so many times already. Confidence definitely has been helping me. I just have to be strong enough to keep it with me. This helps me recap what I've overcome.

4- Beauty. Within yourself, in your surroundings, and in nature.

Somehow after each negative experience, I continue to appreciate something about that destination. There is a beauty to the unexpected in India. You need to learn to reason and respond the right way, which goes along with number 3.

6 - Fun. Laughter and smile any way you can get them.

This is amazing. The biggest smiles I've had, were from some of the smallest things I've had. The moments with the people I've met. The laughing at my luck with trains. My stumble on the edge of the carriage watching the view...

7 - Companionship. People to share your happiness and sorrows, your troubles and joys. 

I truly don't know how I would be making it through without this blog. I find myself recalling and rereading specific moments. I see comments. Encouragement. iMessages, Facebook messages, comments... Etc.. If it weren't for the blog. It would be me waiting and waiting to express my emotion and stress. It's a relief to let someone know. And get responses.

Then I have those who are with me the whole way. My family and close friends. It gets extremely lonely, and sad here. But I know eventually I'll have you in my vision again. This brings me to number 10.

10 - Love. Pure, unconditional, and eternal.

It's obvious I've been blessed. It's obvious I've been having a hard time. It's obvious I still appreciate the moments I have. But what's more obvious is how much love I never realized I've had. And how much I feel a need to reach out to tell you that I love you back. I've always been in touch with my emotions but now..... Instead of avoiding the words 'I love you' or not saying it enough to the people that I should have been so much more... 

Probably the most important... Dad, Mom, Page, Vanessa, Shayna, Melanie, Grandmom.. I love you.

My brothers Jake, Nate, Dan, Josh, Chris, Matt, Dan 2, Stephen.. My extended families.. I love you.

My friends from KU. You know who you are. I love you. 

.. And Kat. I don't know what in the world has stopped us from meeting sooner.. All I do know, is that you have surpassed any expectations and any care that I expect to get from you.
Inside you wrote 'because somehow I want to be part of your adventure...'

 I'm going to do what I need to do to get through this. I'm going to explore, learn, try new things. I will do everything I can to have the time of my life.
But, I don't think that you being a part of my journey is possible, because how can you be a part of my journey when you have become my journey.

My journey is to learn as much as I can on my own... So one day, when we do this together.. I know you'll be safe, and I can show you the world. Do you trust me? Don't you dare close your eyes. (See what I did there? Haha)
.. I love you.

I end up having to go to the bathroom again after eating some snacks, viewing the journal, and drinking water. While I'm walking out of the bathroom I ask someone what stop were coming up to. He doesn't understand and says 'Hindi'. Someone else walks by us and he speaks English. We exchange about how long it will take us to get to Howrah. He believes another 4 hours minimum.

I find my way back to my bunk after looking out the window again. The man I just spoke to was diagonal from my bunk. He had a lower window and invited me to sit and talk. I felt uneasy but then again I could see my belongings. It's fine I'll talk for a little. We have a slow peaceful conversation on where we are headed. The guys across the aisle are all coming back from Qatar for construction work. They take some sort of substance to make time I by faster. Not sure what kind of drug it was..

While watching the country go by, we talk about the culture of India, the hard drive of education for some, and how some get caught up in the wrong things. He asks many questions about America. He asks about noble prize winners. I am glad that he is so kind. I take some pictures as we watch the countryside go by. Man... This is nice. I am not looking forward to sleeper class on my next train. I will try to upgrade my ticke when I arrive. If I can get AC class I'd be so grateful. The man tells me that I will not like sleeper class at all, it's crowded and smuggy, and no AC. He seems disgusted himself. He says this area is clean. He then also says I should get a chain to lock my bags to the poles in the bed. So when I need to get up, I may. Apparently I can get these at the train station. I will try to upgrade on the day of, I will go early and try to situate it out. If I cant, I will be looking for a chain.

Thomas did mention having a chain for bags when he was in sleeper class.

I exchange contacts with the gentleman I've been spending my time with, and go for another nap. It's around 4pm now and I should arrive in another 4 hours or so.

I wake up to an almost empty train. Wonderful. I'm going to definitely be able to watch out the window and know where to get off. I'm happy.

We make it to Howrah, and I get off the train. This place is MASSIVE.

So many tracks, so many people, such a massive station. It's chaos. I am able to snap a couple pictures with my phone.

I'm unsure of where to go, everyone crowds the way and the signs. I wander around different platforms and begin to understand the setup. This is good for when I come back on the 14th. I'll know.

I make my way to a prepaid taxi counter whih was a little weird to locate. Again these lines, you don't wait. I jump my way to a window after a few minutes of waiting. I literally jump over luggage to get to the window. I tell in the window 'Sudder Street!' I owe 130 rupees and I'm off with the taxi driver. We drive over the famous Howrah bridge. This place reminds me of a crappy New York. There are nice trees and nice buildings around. Looking like they need some assistance but still a lot better than expected. We drive down alleys and make our way to Sudder Street.

He lets me go out in the dark night. I ask a man 'Hotel Galaxy?' And he points down the road. I didn't have to ask for the direction, because I knew it was off this road which only extends a few hundred feet. But I wanted to get they and rest. :)

I finally am able to make out the letters on the lit up sign through the smog and dirtwalk. It reads 'Galaxy'. Yes! I've made it. I check in. I walk into my room, and I'm in heaven. There is a fan. There is AC. There is a nice enough bathroom without spreading water everywhere. There is a towel. No soap, but I have some - THANKS STEPHEN! Haha! There is a big bed. I have 7, count them, 7 outlets. Luxury. And this is considered one of their budget hotels in the area. Great recommendation Lee and Lee's sister!!!!

I make contact to let everyone know I've made it. I'm sure everyone is worried now that it's been hours and hours past my expected arrival time. Vanessa sends me a really long but meaningful message. She keeps telling me how much smarter I am than all the siblings and how I got all the good genes. XD haha just kidding V! She actually sends me a really long half asleep, nice genuine message. It means a lot V! Stating that I have people pulling over on the side of the road to finish reading my blog, granted it is a family member, and that everyone feels like they are right there with me. She tells me I'm doing good. I'm thankful for it, itll help me get some rest tonight.

I'm hungry but it's too late to get food. So tonight.. I just rest, charge, text, and plan out my next day. The plan is to wake up early for breakfast, and head to the Mother Teresa House of Missionaries.
This is what I live for. Here is to giving back. Here is to what lies ahead. Here is spreading kindness. Thinking of you Friends of Rachel at KU! Rachel's Challege! Time for some rest.



Venture On!... Even when you need to switch tracks.

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