My last second itinerary change brings me to make a decision. I arrive late in the night, and then I fly again around 12 hours after to Uttarakhand, where the Himalayan mountain range is in northern India. I decided to cancel my hostel for the night, and start the trip off without a place to stay. By the time I'd get to a place to stay, I'd have to turn back around. Besides, this will give me some practice navigating, even if it is just in the airport. PLENTY of time to make mistakes and restart.
I wish I had a picture- the view of India as we flew over the night sky was dreary and beautiful at the same time. You see patches of lights that look like lit candles. And some you see long rivers of car lights connecting each sector or town. It was calming and crazy at the same time.
I was getting nervous. Really nervous.
The plane landed and turned into our parking spot, but as it turned my window went in the direction of the moon. I looked up and took that as a sign that everything was going to be okay. I only wished that Kat was looking at it now too. I would feel a little more at home.
Now, it's time to keep alert through the night until 11am.. It is also supposed to rain. I hope this doesn't mess up any of my flights in, around, or out of the country. Could be an issue..
Here I stand with my backpack on, rupees in my boot, and my eyes wide open, ready to take on the night.
DISCLAIMER
This is about to get really raw. I recommend not reading this if you are worried about me because I'm typing this in the current mindset that I'm in. No sugar coating. Or wait to read it.
I got my luggage from the conveyor belt, and went through customs. I filled out a form on the plane because I'm a foreigner, but they didn't even look at it in details. They continuously forwarded me through even though the paper told me to go in a separate line. Security sucked.
I then had to find my way to my next gate, hours and hours away... I ask an information counter for where to go. She told me to go go pillar 10. With the language barrier, all I got from it was pillar 10. Not what pillar 10 does. I walked laps around the place because on floor 2 there are doors / pillars with numbers then downstairs there are pillars with numbers. I got to 10, and it said 'bus to T1'. I though, huh? Okay I must have to take the bus to that terminal. I didn't have a print out of my ticket because I made the switch last second. I had it on my phone though which seems to suffice thier needs. I didn't feel right handing my phone over though.
The bus at pillar 10 was still. No activity. I turn around as ask the man at the desk, of course treating me with kindness......
I ask him what bus goes to T1? He states there are issues with the free shuttle bus right now and I can get a taxi for free instead by calling.
Now, this sounded a little shady, because I knew I could get prepaid taxis inside the terminal. Though, I walked out. I can't get back in.
So I told him I can't do that I have no phone. He sys he can call for me and get a taxi to a hotel. I immediately snatched my documents from the desk and told him I would be taking the public bus.
I felt very vulnerable and not very optimistic about the situation I was in. It's now 1am in New Delhi, India - and I've already had issues finding my way where I needed to go, and now actually getting there.
I was in my 'Robot Mode' and kept pushing forward. I demanded that I get the ticket for the free bus (now a city bus) to T1 and the man handed it over.
RULE NUMBER 1: Don't trust anyone or anything.
I made my way to pillar 18, where the city bus picks is up. I get on the bus, ask several people who seem to be running the bus 'Terminal 1?' They say yes get on. Not trusting the first answer I get... I ask someone else and they say yes. Lastly I ask one more person that was a passenger and not a worker. He said yes he believes it does but should double check. This guys name was Amid. For some reason I could sense that he was a good guy. I could feel his kindness in voice hen he responded to me so genuinely. He stated 'terminal 1 is 7 km away, there are no stops it's the next one you get off'.
I thanked him as we sat next to each other, watching side streets packed with dirt and cars which honestly looked like a scene out of a movie with drug dealers. We pass by many wild dogs. We leave the airport. And it gets darker with no big buildings around to give me a sense that were at the airport still.
I start clenching my bags in frustration. I'm worrying. I feel tired. I feel vulnerable. I feel afraid. I feel alone. All I want is human contact with people who I understand and know and want my presence. I've NEVER stepped outside my comfort zone to this level. Uganda was cake. I'm squeezing my bags and looking out the window as we pass by signs that say 'thanks for visiting Indira Gandhi International Airport'.
I begin to think in my head very vulgar words and worst possible situations run through my mind. I am thinking I will be stranded in the middle of the grimy city in the middle of the night.
I attempt to look down at my keychain of the guys- and I can't.
My bags are on top of me, I can't maneuver. I'm stressed and just want something to help me plow through this. I just thought about it. I thought about the guys... The keychain, Kat, my sisters, my family and other friends.
It's going to be okay.
I get dropped of at a random corner at what I believe is Terminal 1. I'm relieved. I then think once more where he hell am I? I had no clue where I was at the airport. I saw small signs in the distance and walked towards them. I was at the arrival gates. I walked around and found a pilot and asked him where to check in. Thanks to him he directed me as we walked through the parking lots and dark shadowed corners of the airport. I'm beginning to realize that you need to talk to people that can't directly gain anything from you.
I approach the elevator to go to my gates, and a man stops me and another woman. He seems to be an elevator operator. He wasn't.
He worked at the hotel that was attached to the airport. Not knowing this yet and not realizing there is seating righ upstairs for travelers.. he says 'you are too early for the flight, you can stay here for a very good price, 7200 rupees'..........
Okay now I get what's going on. I said 'oh I can't stay in the lobby?' He says yes for 4700 rupees. I said 'no I can't do that I have only 500.' I still though that there was no seating until I was in the gate because I couldn't get in anywhere at terminal 3 without my boarding pass.
I'm so frustrated and I said I'll wait outside. The man says you can go check in if you want.
WHAT?!
I'm done. I'm over it already.
This environment would be EXTREMELY deffierent if I had someone with me. Someone to depend on you and you depend on them. I'm so broken down by this point.
I made it to the counter, checked my bag, and got in to the gates. I am worried my phone will die, I have no wifi because their wifi services need you to activists free wifi with an Indian mobile number.
I find a chargin station, turn on my phone to charge, and think: woah. What am I doing?........ All I want to do right now is be back home. Or at least have contact with them. I'm feeling pretty upset and worn down already. Now it's 2:43am and I'm sitting in the airport waiting for my next flight. I just want to get to the mountains and take it easy.
I want to thank everyone this far for the encouragement, comments and replies..I'm feeling some serious vulnerability, and am pretty upset. Def starting to tear up even just thinking about seeing any one of your names on my text screen. It makes me feel more at home even just a little bit.
This is intense.
So as I sit here holding back tears of stress, anxiety, being alone, and feeling vulnerable... I looked down at my bag one more time. I decided that right now, I REALLY needed a pick me up. That gift that I wrote about, that Kat gave me. It was this:
Inside are tons if future things for me to read and see. I browsed through and chose this one:
I definitely need a smile right now. I untapped the two pieces of paper and inside was a note with some tickets. :) It was great to see this. It definitely made me smile. It's tough to stop my nose from running because I'm letting nothing come out through my eyes so it just seems like I have a cold from sniffling a lot. But this cleared me up for just a few minutes. At least those few minutes gave me peace of mind.
I also just sent a text to Shayna to tell everyone that I'm safe and waiting for my next plane. Texting is probably expensive but it was necessary. I also shared that I was a bit overwhelmed already and she shot me some encouraging words back. I know that I just gotta keep on moving forward. Thanks Shayna!!!
Also, Momo (Melissa) text me too. I mentioned that the experience was horrible thus far. She again reiterated my own words back to me:
'Theres always more good in a day' she told me to start listing the positives.
Amid.
I'm texting her Shayna and Kat (even though it's 50 cents a text each way ugh!)
I made it to T1
Headed to the Himalayas
The other Indian my age that was flying alone, and we bonded over small stuf from the city bus to T1 gates.
Kat also reiterates that this is probably going to be the most stressful part of my trip. Which I hope she is correct. I really don't want to feel like this ever again. Haha. She keeps stating how she just wants to take care of me. :/ ..... You are.
I'm def feeling better thanks to the three amigos. I'm now fully charged and have 3 more hours to wait. I hope public transit is easy from Jolly Granr Airport because I have to go to the town over 50 minutes to my hotel. (Green Hotel in Rishikesh).
As my dad once said, which I still believe and has held true - hopefully it still does for me in this case.. But, ' the hardest part of anything is getting started'
Wish me luck. Sorry I don't have many pics for this one. I was a bit preoccupied. ;).. now I have a plane ride and then hopefully an easy ride to my hotel.
Love y'all.
Venture on, even when you just want to turn back.
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